Friend or Foe? Can women truly be friends with a past hookup?

Unfaithful boyfriend concept. Boyfriend is flirting with another

Last weekend I went out with a casual friend I met on Tinder at least five years ago. When we initially met, we tried dating.  It didn’t work. He was the artist type that had an abundance of friends, and half of them were girls he fucked. Anyhow, at this point, four years later we were practically brother and sister, to me at least. I had no sexual interest in him, and I’d met his girlfriend on several occasions. I’ve never been the type of woman to go after someone else’s man.


We met at an unauthentic Mexican spot.  He was sitting at the bar. I saw him in the distance, and he ushered me to come over. Once I sat down, I noticed he’d already gotten acquainted with the bartender who knew his name. We both ordered margaritas, him frozen, me on the rocks. I can always predict what kind of guy I’m dealing with by his drink preference.


After a few drinks we were ready to leave, and right before walking me to my car he invited me to a kickback near by. I agreed to go. Once we arrived at the location there weren’t many people, so I scanned through my phone casually. While scrolling I noticed that his girlfriend had randomly liked 8 of my pictures in the last 24 minutes. I asked him, “Did you tell your girlfriend you were with me?” He answered, “yes.”  Quite honestly, I was completely okay with him telling his girlfriend we were together. There was nothing to hide. However, I did find it strange that a woman doesn’t trust her own guy enough to let him have a simple outing with an old friend. I also couldn’t figure out for the life of me, why she’d send me subliminal messages through social media.


It made me think that as a single woman I shouldn’t hang out with men who are in relationships. Even as friends.  I never saw it as an issue before. Maybe I felt that since I knew the guy first, it didn’t make a difference.


Are single women allowed to hang out with men in a relationship if they were friends first? Are men in relationships still hoping there’s a possibility of hooking up with their single friend? How do you know if it’s just a friend or a long lasting relationship with an ex that you should just let go of?

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